And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

I just wanted to record this for Hannah.

This last weekend we were attending a family reunion. It was wonderful to see cousins and sisters again. We stayed up really late every night and played games, my favorite thing to do with family. By the time Sunday rolled around, we were beat. Someone was sick and another person forgot their Sunday clothes and it was looking like we were all going to be spending Sunday at home. I am not proud of the fact that Bob and I were wavering. We were getting ready to discuss whether we were going to go attend church or not when Hannah came down stairs in her Sunday clothes. Bob and I looked at each other and our decision was made. We hurried and got everyone dressed and ready. To my amazement, a good portion of the family was dressed and ready to go to church as well. I was so proud of my little girl! Her actions and obedience influenced more people then she will ever realize. All I could think was "And a little child shall lead them." That she shall.

Day 20 Something: Catch up

It is time for some catch up! No, not Ketchup, catch up! I have been so busy writing my old journal entries, which I find fascinating, that I have failed to keep caught up on my life! SO here we go!

Funny quote of the week: (Bethany) "Mom! Look at Ben's bum! It is like a caterpillar!" Should I be worried about this new observation???

We decided that it is time to potty train Bethany! Dumm dum dum dum!

This a picture of all the snacks that I got for the "Potty Party!"

I HATE potty training, I wish they would just do it on their own. I figured now that I have older kids the younger ones would just naturally "get it". Well, Bethany will be 4 in July. She can now describe to me the cycle of day and night but she can't go to the bathroom in the toilet. I gave in and decided to try. So I prepared for the Bathroom party and bought everything salty I could find in the store. We spent the whole day watching movies and eating crud. My bathroom looked like a bomb went off at the end of the day. It was "eh ok" sucessful. This week has been filled with wet carpets, bedding and underwear. We have had a little bit of sucess but a lot of "uh oh"'s! She keeps telling me "I am done with the toilet Mom, can I have a diaper now?" I am hoping it will "click" soon. Ben has joined the effort, but only when he wants a gummy bear. I am leaving him for Bob.

We had one of our famous May snowstorms. Which is slightly depressing but it gave the grass and garden a good watering!

This is the tree that had all the blossoms on it. The snow was so wet that it weighed the branches down the to ground.

I took Ben to the Dr. this day, to make sure he didn't have any broken legs. (He had jumped off the dresser 2 days previously) He was being such a boy that I had to record it!

Here are some more videos:

This one is of Ben and Beth playing "blocks". I was trying to catch Ben in the act of singing "tomorrow" but it is cute footage still.

This is Molly's Bday song. I love that Ben is singing soooo loudly!

This one is of Ben and Bethany playing guns. I seriously don't know where they got the idea to play guns. They have been rough housing A LOT lately. Throwing each other on the ground and laughing. My favorite part of this is where Beth says "It's my turn to die!"

Day 16: Continue

More old journal entries:

1-19-01: "Okay, Bob woke me up by knocking on the door. He came in and started breakfast (I love that he still makes breakfast for us. The kids are breakfast deprived without him around) It was fun just to watch him work. He was wearing his glasses so he looked SOOOO cute! (I loved his glasses but they didn't love me. After I broke them several times we decided that lasik was the best option) I got ready. Joseph woke up so I watched movies with him. I think I was trying too hard to be cute with him cause I know how much Bob loves children. But it would really touch me when Joseph would come up to me and sit in my lap. I really do love little children. (Thank goodness!) Bob gave Joseph a breakfast sandwich to eat. Joseph had this cute blank stare, I think he was still half asleep. (As the years went on I found out that Joe is just really shy. He would talk when Bob was around but if I came around the corner he would immediately be quiet. One of my favorite memories is when we went to visit and Bob was sick with hives. All of a sudden Uncle Bob was not available to play. Joe opened up to me and we started playing dinosaurs, it was so much fun!) We hit the road...We took the long way to Shoshone, through Pocatello. Bob gave me the tour of Shoshone, it is very small....We got to his house and it looks really small from the front. I was SO nervous! This must be what it is like to meet your in laws! His mom, Ladonna, was the only one here. She came up and hugged me, it was so cute! I then met Ross, who was out helping neighbors, his dad. Ladonna was baking cookies, yumm! A picture perfect homemaker. Soon after, I met the boys Adam (17) and Jon (16 or 15) (I know, I know it's John. But I wrote it Jon in my journal). Adam plays the piano and has a genuinely funny personality. Jon looks ALOT like Bob. We all sat around laughing and talking. His Dad, Ross, is a funny good guy. I was expecting someone strict and scary. ( I had dated some guys in the past where I felt like their dad was watching everything I did. So I was scared I was going to say "crap" and get yelled at for using a cuss word in Bob's house. Thank goodness it was a very easy going trip.) The girls, Christina (15 or 14) and Anna (14 or 13), finally got home from a Young Women's thing. Christina is a sweet girl with a love for music. Anna is funny, outgoing, and cute. We packed up and went to Hagerman to the warm springs. The water was great! I was still having a hard time being comfortable with Bob and not Elder Gedeborg. I must admit I WAS checking him out a lot though! :) (Well, apparently he was checking me out too. Years later I heard this story from his sister Becky. When he got back from the trip she had questioned him about me. She asked what I looked like etc. His response was "Um, she has an orange bathing suit") We played copy cat on the diving board! IT was great! Then I tried to dunk Bob. I finally got him. By this time I was getting a little more comfortable and touchy. I didn't want to be too flirty though. We went and played B-Ball. Oh! I dunked Adam too! hehe He was asking for it. (Man I was quite mean back then.) We then went to the kiddy pool. We ended up sitting and talking. I was looking in his eyes better. The whole time praying for guidance and answers from my Father above. Finally we got out and got dressed. We went into this side room to eat and Ladonna had this huge spread! (To this day I describe Mom as Mary Poppins, she just kept pulling more and more stuff out of her bag!) Hoagie sandwiches with anything imaginable to put on top. I just gazed in awe at this great little family. That is what I want!

We went out to the car to go home and one car was dead and the hood of the other wouldn't pop! We got some guy to jump it, meanwhile me and Anna were discussing which direction the geese were flying. We were getting in the car and Bob was going to drive again. I was worried he would fall asleep and I knew I was tired. His Dad offered to drive and Bob gladly took the offer. I was happy because we got to ride in the back together. Our first alone time. Bob said I could lay on him 'I'm not a missionary anymore.' I was wary but I laid my hear on his shoulder. I didn't want to hold his arm or anything because I didn't know what he was thinking and I kept going 'Friends, friends, friends' in my head. My neck was getting stiff quick because I was so uptight. So I moved to his lap. I fell asleep ( I felt so safe and comfortable).We got home and went inside to watch my home movies, Veggie Tales"Ultimate Silly Songs" and V.T. Ester. I wanted to sit next to Bob but Adam was laying on him so I took the little couch. After we were done I was going to write in my journal but Bob was around. I have been confused and impatient about an answer. I love his family. Ladonna and the girls hugged me goodnight. they seemed genuinely glad to have me here. I fit in here! It's amazing. Ross told me in focus (Focus is part of FHE where everyone says something nice about you) tonight that I fit right in with their oddness. :) That REALLY means a lot to me. Especially from a Father. (I can say to myself that I love him, not too deep yet but it's there, but I fear he doesn't love me back.) "

I wish I still kept journals the way I did back then. It is so fun to go back and look at my feelings. It truly shows you the hand of God in your life. This next entry is from my spiritual journal.

I was studying my Patriarchal Blessing, which is a very sacred blessing that we receive. So I will not be sharing specifics, but I love the feelings I was having at the time. I have always been scared that my husband will die on me. Ask Bob, I still have a problem with this. So this is what I was feeling at this time as well. "I don't want my husband to die on me. I KNOW he is great and I cannot imagine raising my family without him. I now think of Bob. If he is the one, he would bring so much life to the house and joy in my life, how could I live without it?"

Now I was pondering on my friends and the influences they have in my life. "I pick a lot of bad ones, but also a lot of great ones too! :) (Bob) He makes me happy, he brings the spirit with him always. He ceases to amaze me and comfort my soul with his presence. I just want to know! Is he the one! Why can't I know? or am I not listening? Am I not supposed to know? Maybe I am so scared and prepared fro it to be wrong that I TRUELY wont let it be right. Maybe."

"I looked at him today and thought 'He's so young, is he really ready for marriage?' (Could he put up with me?) Right now the words of my dream came to me 'wait for me'. (When I was 13 I had a dream about my Eternal Companion) I promised I would but I am soooo sick of waiting! I am selfish but VERY VERY VERY tired of waiting (I was what? 19?) At least let me know if it's right or lead this relationship in the right direction! Or is he already working on doing that? JUST TRUST! How hard can it be?"

Wow! I was a woman full of conflict it seems.

"Did the Holy Ghost lead me to WV? Yes. Was it right? Yes. Was it for a reason? Yes. Do I know that reason? Part of me wants to say yes but I can't bring myself to say the word for fear that the spirit won't reassure me of it. He (Bob) is definitely sweet and I know he would take me to the temple. - It says I will know in my heart but it doesn't say anything about my mind. My spirit knows it, why can't i? or does it? - I know he would love me, care for me, help me, and support our children. - I can see my joy being truly joyous with him too. He would love me and I would know it simply in the way he looked at me. or by the touch of the hand. But I can't make him love me! (AHH! JUST BE FRIENDS!) - I know our house would be one of spirit and preparation. He makes me want to live a better life. I can see the faithful, ideal me, living the way I want with this man! - I wonder if I had a problem with patience in the pre-existence too?"

I love all of the qualities that I saw back then. I love my husband and he has made all of my dreams a reality! Thank you honey!

Tired again, so this will just go on and on until I am done :)

Day 16: Happy 9th Anniversary Sweetheart

I was going to make this a big blog with pictures of us through the years. So you can see us when we were skinnier and when Bob had more hair! But I just haven't been able to get my act together so this will have to do.

First of all, how did I celebrate my 9th Wedding Anniversary? I went and did Baptisms in St. George with my sister and then I went to an Institute class on Eternal Marriage. Over all I think I did a pretty good job of remembering my covenants today. And the break away from home was really helpful! I feel like a new mom.

I can't believe it has been 9 years! Time flies when your in love. I have said this all day and I will say it again, I made the BEST decision of my life 9 years ago. I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING.

So here is our story, I have done some journal searching so this should be fun:

We met in the hills of West Virginia. He was a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I moved out to live with my Dad for a time. It really was one of the best times of my life, I grew so much while I was there. Bob was serving in our area (Elkins, WV) and I remember thinking that he was cute, but missionaries are "HANDS OFF". While I was there we were able to work together in the Nursery and to have spiritual conversations. I was impressed by his knowledge and our ability to talk to each other, but that is as far as it went. When I returned to school, SUU, my Dad (Papa) told Bob that I might like a letter. Well, I got one! And I was shocked!

7/9/01: "Today I got a letter from Elder Bob Gedebourgh. (From WV) I was jumping up and down! He sent me pictures and everything! Man, he is cute! hehehe!"

We wrote until his mission was finished. I enjoyed talking to him but I thought he was too "good" for me. And that I was too "wild" for him. That December he called me while I was visiting my family in WV. (I was the first girl he had called)

(One of Bob's letters to me) "Keep in touch and I'll do the same. If I get your phone number I'll give you a call after I get home! (Dec 15)"

Well, before I left WV after Christmas break, my Dad tried to talk some sense into me. I love my Dad, he was very inspired at this time. (This is about a therapy session Papa and I had together)

1-3-02:" Somethings coming. I will find him! Yes, my mate. My soul companion! VERY soon! And I will know without a doubt. Like I've never felt before. I will live in a place similar to Elkins but with a better spiritual environment! Small town here I come! My husband will be on a high spiritual plane, equal or slightly higher. But we will raise and grow together. Could this really be Bob Gedeborg? I am happy even when thinking of him. All worries wash away and Papa helped me to see that he's one of the only people that I could truly be myself around. Only time will tell. But I anxiously away seeing him later this month. I know it will be great....When I told Papa I was ready to go home he said his first thought was 'of course, someone is waiting for you.' Bob?...I have a strong feeling I will recognize [the spirit] in Bob. If I can get over the name I will be okay. Bob....but the more I say it the more it grows on me. But I need to be prepared that it might not be Bob. But I can see myself happy, eternally happy with him."

1/6/02: "Later when I was relaxing Bob (Elder Gedeborg) called me back. It was so great to hear his voice and laugh. We shared old memories and I learned a lot about him... I found out that he likes to snowboard and ski, he has been skydiving, and he likes to cliff jump! That was such a smack in the face! I was dumbfounded! My only flaw for Bob no longer existed! So far he is perfect! Did you hear that! PERFECT! Kinda Scary! hehehe I asked him about the 'Little Mermaid' thing and he laughed. He was actually 15 years old and snuck to the Nursery to see it! Wow, what a rebel. Funny thing is that I have this urge to say 'That's my boy.' He's not my boy! I haven't even seen him yet. Way too ahead of yourself Amanda. He seemed to be flirting with me and it was so cute. We were talking about how if a girl likes a missionary and flirts, he will get transfered but if she is cool about it he will be around a while. Without thinking I was all 'that works' so I had to cover it up or hint more, not sure which, with a 'not like I would know'. I wonder if he could tell I had a thing for him? Then we were talking about college wards and I was all 'Yeah, now tons of girls will pick up on you' or something like that and he's all 'if it makes you feel better. I went to a college ward last week and didn't like it. Too much of a meat market. I got molested by all the eyes.' Did you catch that 'if it makes you feel better.' :) That has gotta mean something. Like that he's interested. Oh I hope so! He's everything into one! Good with kids, sweet, funny, respectful, totally spiritual, cute :), adventurous, likes small towns! Woo hoo! I hung up the phone and cried. All of my worries were gone. All my questions answered. I had to tell Papa too. He just laughed. Maybe at my lack of faith. Well, only time will tell! :) I can't wait for him to call me again and I can't wait for Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend!"

I look back and these entries and think, what a goob! But it is funny to look on it with hindsight and see how much of this was true.

1/7/02: "All day all I thought of was Bob Gedeborg and how happy I am that he's perfect."

1/18/02: "Well, today was the day. I got into the car and I drove to Logan....I get to Logan and Bob's sister, Sarah, appears later and we talked for over an hour before the guys got home. Their little boy, Joseph, is so cute! Lars and Bob finally came home at 1:30 am! I got really nervous! He came in said 'Hi' and opened his arms for a hug! That was nice. Sarah and Lars stayed up with us till 2 and we told stories and laughed. It was great. They are so nice to me. I am worried about impressing them but I need to be me and the same time. They wend to bed and me and Bob talked for a while. I ransacked his wallet! One time when we were talking I just looked at him and thought 'this could be the man I spend the rest of my life with.' I have a hard time looking him in the eyes. Maybe I am scared of what I will see. My goal is to face my fear and look to see. He gave me a hug again before he went to bed. He is such a sweet guy. He looks good in real clothes too! :) He still has that really cute childish sparkle in his eye when he gets excited. We will see how tomorrow goes! I am kinda scared to meet his family@ And I am scared of the high dive and 'the log'. I need to be myself and not try to impress. I thank the Lord for giving me this chance. And I pray for his guidance. And His presence to be known. Papa last night kept making comments like 'Anson's favorite picture is the one of him and Uncle Bob.' (We later realized it would be brother in law) Papa thought I had said I had slept with him but I assured him I did not intend to and Dad added 'YET!' I blushed soooo bad! Papa says that he feels like he is pushing this one on me and he kind of is. We both agreed I need to find out on my own. I will admit that the spirit is there between us, I just need to figure out what it means."

What's funny is I read all of these qualities, like the sparkle in his eyes, and these are things that I still treasure the most. I love to see him genuinely smile, it makes my day!

I need some sleep so part 2, tomorrow.

Day 13: What a weekend!

Aye, aye, aye! What a weekend. I will try to only bother you with the interesting details of my weekend. Friday, my doorknob broke off my bedroom door. Problem was my door was closed so I was locked out. Thank goodness my Uncle Brian came over to help. Our only option ended up being climbing through my bedroom window and unscrewing the mechanisim from the inside. Even then we couldn't get it to budge so he slipped the hinges. But for some reasons the hinges were TIGHT. He had to get the channel locks out and throw his weight against it before they would even budge! I thought the whole door frame was going to come off! Finally we got that taken care of. I have no doorknob but I don't really have a NEED for privacy right now. :)

Saturday rolls along and here I am looking at the yard feeling VERY overwhelmed! How can I take care of both the yard AND the house. The kids were no help and every bribe was in vain. I just feel like there is so much to do alone! I miss sending Bob outside with the kids and being able to whip through the house alone. To make matters worse, we were watching Little House on the Prarie that morning. It was the episode where Pa has to walk 100 miles to find work so that he can get enough money for them to last through the winter. While he is gone Ma gathers the wheat from the field and threshes it by hand so that they can have enough flour to feed the family. So here I am feeling overwhelmed with the garden, yard and house but realizing that Ma had it much worse than I do. I felt guilty for murmuring but I still wanted to murmur anyway. At least I get to talk to Bob everyday and see his face on Skype. Back then they were lucky to get letters once a week.

I didn't end up getting much done in the yard but I got my bedroom and bathroom clean, it feels so good to have MY space! I was attempting to catch up on laundry when Megan comes running in going "Emergency! Water is flowing down the cubbord!" Sure enough the kitchen sink was leaking all over the floor. My Dad had come by earlier and fixed my disposal and in the process must have dislodged the p-trap. With Bob's help I fixed it myself but that was the last straw. There was so much nasty stuff to clean up! I sat down and cried. Meanwhile my neighbor came by to check on me, since she had missed my phone call earlier. I was so embarassed! Here I am bawling next to the kitchen sink! Bethany was running around naked cause I had been doing baths and my house looks like a bomb went off! Thank goodness she has 9 kids so she completely understands! Her husband came over and had a second look at the sink, we are hoping it holds till Bob gets home.

Today, I was pretty proud of myself, we all got to church before the ending of the opening hymn! Yay for me! Church went by without a hitch. When church got out I ended up loosing some kids. I had sent all the kids out to the car but Hannah ended up staying with my cause she was talking to me and I went to retrieve Ben from the nursery. I get Ben out to the car and only Hannah is there! I put Ben, Hannah and Emma in the car and go off to look for the other 3. I am looking all over the building and I find Megan, but where are the other 2! I was so upset that she left the others by themselves, but she was so scared that I couldn't stay mad long. To make a long story short, some people from our ward found them and helped us to reconnect. I was scared and tired by the time the ordeal was over.

I got to talk to Bob this afternoon and then we went to my Aunt Robyn and Uncle Mikes for dinner. We were celebrating the May Birthdays, which includes Molly.

I can't believe my little girl is turning 5!

Molly had been telling me all day about her "secret" and how she was getting a Tangled Music Box. I thought she was making this up but sure enough Molly ended up getting a Tangled Music CARD from Grandma. She was soooo excited. Ben kept trying to steal it because he LOVES things like that. Molly doesn't want to let it out of her sight and I can see how it will become a source of contention tomorrow. She also received a present that shows my families humor. Molly is getting a pillow pet, but it hasn't come yet so they gave her a picture of the pet.

Day 10: I can't remember

I honestly can't remember what I was going to write about. I went to update my blog Thursday night and the website was down. But here are some pictures I had saved aside.

This is a picture of a picture. Bethany brought me home this picture for Mother's Day. I loved it because it really captures Bethany and her personality.

Molly and Hannah playing on the swing together

The Bee's have been buzzing all over this tree. It sounds so pleasant and it smells wonderful!

This tree reminds me of all the long walks Bob and I would take in Manti. We loved when the trees would bloom because it would make the walk smell so sweet. I loved it cause it meant spring was here! Here is a link to the bees on our trees.

Here is another movie that I found on my ipod. Classic Meggie and Ben

Mucusless Diet

My freind Anna Allred is keeping a blog about hypothyroidism and is posting some way yummy, healthy recipies. Here is a link that we go to frequently for some yummy recipies as well. They may look strange, but don't knock um till you try um!

Dr. Christophers Mucusless Diet

Day 8: Museum and McDonald's

Today was a fine day! I woke up and got ready for the day before I called Bob this morning. (I am starting to wise up) I got the kids to do their morning chores. Okay, I told them they couldn't go to the Museum today if they didn't. :) I got some needed paperwork done and got it turned in! For me that is a huge accomplishment, I hate paperwork and I love procrastinating! Every second Tuesday in Cedar City the local Museum has "Story Hour". It is great and my kids love it. Today we read a story about Cowboy Macoy and his experience on becoming a cowboy. Afterwards they took the kids out and let them lasso a fake pig, horse and cow. This was the first time that the weather was good enough and we could go and look at their outside displays. They have a sheep shearing shed, a school house, and an old cabin out back (just to name a few). I LOVE it! I makes me want to become a homesteader so bad! On the inside the kids can climb in a Western Union Carriage and pretend they are passengers. This is one of their favorite activities. On a funny note, Ben adopted another family that had more boys in it. He followed them around everywhere. I finally located him next to the electric train. He was jumping up and down every time it went around shouting "Look Mom! A Choo-Choo train!" Bethany and him have been playing with our train set a lot lately. Bethany kept telling me that " the black train is the Polar Express!"

We then went to McDonald's and let the kids run a muck. Megan met a new friend and they had a great time! By the time we got home it was 4 hours later! The kids crashed and took late naps. We read their kids school books before bed, which was awful late tonight. Molly said "Dad's been gone a long time!" I had to get out the calender and show her how long it will be. She was excited that we get to see him in July.

Talked to Bob tonight and we both checked our grades. I got all A's and 1 B! Except for a History class that I have decided to take over this summer, in which I got an F but I was on track to get an A. I was so far behind that I would have spent ALL day for the first few days Bob was gone and I might have pulled off a C. So I decided the kids needed me more and I would just retake it, I read all but 10 chapters in the book so I think I can breeze through it this summer. Bob wearily checked his grades and found the greatest shock of his life! He got all A's and B's! He ended up with a B- in Business Calc and a B+ in Business Stats!!!! It is PARTY time! OH! And he got 2 installs today! He worked till past Midnight but it ended up being a good day for him too!

This was my Mother's Day present from Hannah and Megan! Grandpa Thornton took them to Home Depot on Saturday and they made these for me. The red one has Pansies in it and the Purple one has Snapdragons. Snapdragons are one of our favorites, Bob loves to plant them every year!

Ben fell asleep on the couch like this. This was from Day 7. The Lazy Day :)

Our dog, Shelby, has been sick. I brought her in to give her some medicine and Ben decided that he should ride her. He loves her. He loves all animals. P.S. Look at her new collar, she actually looks like a girl!

Day7: Too much media!

I can tell that I spent too much time on the computer when I have a migraine at the end of the day. I had a great time talking to Bob on Skype. It is so good for us to see each other while we talk. It makes us realize how cute the other one is and it is harder to get mad or offended. I ended up spending way too much time talking to him though. So I got a late start on the day. I decided to call Laura Gedeborg to tell her congrats on expecting number 3. We are so excited for them. I love Laura, we are two peas in a Gedeborg pod! Then I got on the phone and talked to Bob some more while he was waiting for an install. We have been trying to figure out our internet situation and I think we are leaning toward an iphone. It would actually be saving us money because he needs some sort of wireless so he can talk to us out there. (Thanks Jim Bob for the great info on iphones).

Did I mention that it was raining today, oh and hailing too. I love thunder storms but they remind me of Bob because he loves them too. Well, my sister Alexis came over so that we could make her Graduation Announcements. I guess I wasn't at the top of my game because I kept forgetting to save it and well....it was a mess and took a while to finish. But whala! Here is the finished project.

After that I put the kids to bed and talked to Bob some more. We have some serious talking issues. Anyone who knows us knows that we spend roughly a week out of the month on the phone with each other. And that is when we live together! Now it is even worse! My sister in law Becky told me, "You will be okay, you guys courted over the phone!" She is right, we did! But it seems to be harder now than it was 9 years ago.

Day 4: Lazy day. (Well, for the kids)

Today started out really lazy like. My Dad made a farewell breakfast for my sister, which was YUMMY! By the time I said "goodbye" and got the kids home it was already late morning. It was great because I came home and my house was still clean! Since today was Friday, it was reward day for the kids. They have done such a great job this week doing their morning chores that they earned their movie privilege. So I rented, "Barbie Fairy-(something)". They had a great time watching it, multiple times. I was kind of tired today so I was really lax. ( I think my monthly visitor may have had something to do with it) I took a nap and it was only 2! I didn't want to just lay around waiting for 8pm to come! So I decided to go work on the yard while the kids were distracted. :) I really love mowing, I don't know why. Ask my Manti friends. I would always go out when I was pregnant and mow the lawn. I am glad that I like yard work since it is my responsibility now. I figure if I take care of it ever two weeks, it will be easier to maintain. I not only got out and mowed but I decided to weed whack, trim the trees and start the sprinklers! I am pretty proud of the results!

Tonight we all got to talk to Bob on Skype. It was so good to see him! :) I am now gonna go watch a chick flick with my sister Lexy! My brain is waisted so I will write more tomorrow.

Look at that yard!

I was covered in weeds from head to toe

Day 3: Not exactly like I planned

Today was an "eh, okay" day. I got up feeling great because it was such a great day yesterday! I ended up talking to Bob for quite a while this morning, giving him directions to stores that are near where he lives (I love google maps). I guess I had planned that today would go about the same as yesterday. Well, I got the kids fed but I hadn't eaten yet. When I make my protein drink in the morning I am flooded with at least 3 kids who "want some". I was almost out of O.J. so I thought I would get around to it eventually, in secret. ( I don't know what I was thinking, our blender is anything but "secret") So my Grandfather shows up to work on our yard today and announces that "today is the day to plant the garden". Not that it is a bad thing, I just wasn't expecting to do that today. So here I am out in the yard, hoeing in dirt that has the consistency of clay! I hadn't eaten, I was trying to make sure the kids didn't get run over by a tractor, and I was nervous that the kids inside were wrecking the house. Needless to say, I was getting grumpy. I then realized that I hadn't eaten and I went inside and sat down to eat a salad. About an hour later, much happier mama!

Tonight we got invited over to my Mom and Dad's. Melanie (my sister) and her husband Jesse are leaving for Kansas City, MO tomorrow. So we decided to come and have a sleepover at their house, which is also my parents house. The kids had a great time playing outside and roasting marshmallows. GIANT marshmallows!

This is Megan climbing on the giant rock in Grandpa's backyard.

I am trying to get videos on this blog but they just aren't working! Here is a link to the one I was trying to post today:

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150184365962416&notif_t=video_processed

Oh! Here is a funny from Megan. We were driving to Grandma's and she saw some guy working without his shirt on. The conversation went something like this:

Megan: "EW! I just saw a naked guy back there! GROSS! I am going to forget about that right now!"

Hannah: "Guys can go without their shirts when they are swimming"

Megan: "He was in the dirt. That is so RUDE!"

She then goes on to ask me how we can tell if people are members of the church or not. I thought it was very cute. I asked her which church we belonged to and she responded "Jesus Christ's!" Which made the whole car break out in song to " I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints." Honestly, this is when I take a sigh of relief and remember that these lessons are truly what homeschooling is about.

Day 2- Preparing the backyard

Today was a great day. The kids got their chores done earlier than yesterday, I got a great nights sleep, we fit kids school in, Family came over to visit and Bob arrived in NC safely! :) Life went quite smoothly. I only had one point where I was close to tears, Bethany said "Where's Dad?" And when I told her he was gone she replied "To the store?" I don't know how long it will take them to realize that he isn't coming home till the end of the summer.

Well, my grandpa has decided to come over and help me get the backyard free of weeds and ready for a garden. He was out there digging away with his little track hoe, it was so cute! hehe The kids loved watching him. He will be back tomorrow to work on it some more.

How Fast They Grow

I was looking through some old pictures today and I found these pictures of Hannah and Josh together. It is amazing to me how quickly they have grown up. They will both be baptized in the month of April. I NEVER thought this day would come so fast. Congratulations you two!

P.S. Congrats to Josh B. as well, these cousins are all really close in age!

Molly: Our Warrior From Heaven

This is Molly. And this is HER story.

Molly was born a wonderful healthy baby girl. Nothing abnormal, just joy and happiness. Her big sisters were so excited to hold her and the whole family welcomed her with open arms.

(Grandma holding Molly)

About 3 months after she was born she started having problems digesting my breast milk. We switched back and forth between Soy and Milk formula but Milk seemed to go right through here. The Soy would sometimes clog her up and so we had a roller coaster of a time trying to find out how best to feed her. She gained weight and was a big chubby baby. Until she turned a year.

She started to develop later than my other kids. She didn't have a normal crawl. She would swing her legs around and looked like a monkey. Although I knew she could walk if she wanted to, she refrained until she was about 18 months old. We had people telling us that she was looking really thin. Both of my other girls had thinned out when they started getting mobile and I didn't think too much on it. Deep down I WAS starting to worry.

At her 18 month check up we discovered that she was having "failure to thrive". She had only gained 1 lb over the course of 6 months and her head circumference was stagnant. Her PCP decided to take an array of tests. By inspiration he decided to go the extra mile and have a urine sample taken as well. We usually hear back from our Dr. at the end of the day when his appointments are done. My heart skipped a beat when he called that same day around 3pm. I remember hearing "I wish I had better news". He told me that her urine had come back with sugar in it, the lab automatically ran an A1C on her blood work and she was in the 400's and at an 8. They suspected that Molly had diabetes. Before I knew it I was being instructed on how to get Molly up to Primary Children's in Salt Lake City. My life was turned into a blur as I tried to find babysitters, pack and call the family. My husband had just started a new job and had to remain at home so I started on the journey alone. We had a false alarm with one of our other daughters before and so I was trying not to panic.

I pulled into the E.R. at about midnight. My Dad had come with me in order to show me the way to the hospital. There was a lot of miscommunication that night. I don't blame Primary Children's because they have been truely wonderful. But in order to fully comprehend the situation for me I must explain. The ER staff called the endocrinologist on call. She told them to make sure to take another BG (Blood Glucose) on her. It ended up coming back normal and they sent us home. I was a mess! I was calling everyone to tell them it was a false alarm! I called our PCP and he was out of the office. Thank goodness we live in a small town. After my husband heard the panic that I was in he called the Doctor at home. Our Dr. was in shock and called the endocrinologist. Apparently the ER did not have permission to release us, they were supposed to call her back with the results. I ended up checking into a room that afternoon with Molly and our brand new baby, Bethany.

I got settled in and they told me that my husband had to be there to receive instruction so he started the 3 hr drive to Salt Lake. Meanwhile I am talking to Doctors and students and getting an array of answers. Molly has diabetes, no she doesn't, she might have celiac, she definitely has diabetes..... we think. What it came down to was this: we caught her diabetes earlier than most people do. She wasn't so sick that she had to be put on an IV. She actually only needed 3 shots total while we were there. The nurses didn't know what to do with us because we needed a-typical instruction. In the meantime Molly ended up with the best endocrinologist out there and the best digestive doctor as well! We felt so very blessed to have had both of them on call that day. They ended up running a bunch of tests to figure out what was going on with her digestive tract as well. She had very inconclusive answers. 3 days after arriving we were sent home to figure things out.

I need to add that Molly was the BEST patient. She didn't care that they were poking and prodding her. She took it like a champ. It was her for a reason, she could handle it.

(Molly right after we brought her home from Primary Children's)

The next year was full of a lot of appointments. They ran all sorts of tests on her. She had x-rays, ultrasounds, digestive scopes, throat cultures, and a lot of blood tests. She was on pancreatic enzymes for a while but then somehow started producing them on her own. Her test would come back with ALMOST everything accurate. The BEST doctors were scratching their heads. They thought she had Cystic Fibrosis for a while. When we met the pulmonologist he said " Molly, I have heard a lot about you in the halls."

(Molly and Dad asleep after one of her breathing treatments. She had to take a special medication twice a day for 20 minutes each)

Finally after about a year they decided to declare her officially a Type 1 Diabetic. We had been giving her shots more and more over the course of that year because her body was starting to need it. But she was starting to gain weight and they were pleased to see her growing. The hard part about having a toddler with Diabetes is the fluctuation in BG. She spent most of her days up in the 600's, and she was functioning fine. When we would get her down in the 100's her body would freak out, she just wasn't used to being normal. The amounts of insulin she needed were so minute. One grape would shoot her into outer space! She kept getting into the fridge. We tried locking it, that didn't work. We finally moved into the laundry room and put a child safety lock on the door knob. How do you explain to a 3 year old that food can hurt her?

During this time I studied a lot of nutrition. I came to the conclusion that Molly DID have a milk allergy. Even though they couldn't pinpoint what triggered the Diabetes, I believe that it was triggered by the milk allergy. I also learned that 1 tsp full of white flour will raise her Blood Sugar faster that 1 tsp of sugar. It is all about counting carbs. It is amazing how people think that sugar free is okay, but in actuality, they still have carbs! I started to look into more natural ways of eating, for I believed this was the key to helping her feel better. We have tried to stick to the most natural form of foods. We switched to brown rice and wheat pasta. We don't believe that artificial sweeteners like Splenda are good for her so we use honey, agave and natural cane sugar instead.

There was a time when it was looking like we were going to be moving to Belize. We wanted to be able to live off of more raw foods and help Molly in any way we could. It was at this time that her endocrinologist decided it was time to put her on a pump. A pump would be easier to deal with while living abroad. It also allowed for us to give her the tiny amounts of insulin her small body needed.

(Molly with her pump on. At first we would put it in her arm because she didn't have much fat on her. Now we put it in her rear and thighs.)

Belize fell through, but the pump worked out well. It has taken some getting used to but it has been a big help.

(Below: Some pictures of Molly over the years)

(Molly at her first JDRF Walk A Thon, with her Aunt)

Molly is now 4. We are finally starting to stabilize her and we are getting her A1C down. But we know that the next time she has a growth spurt it will all change again. We have been fortunate. Molly hasn't had to be admitted into the hospital since her original diagnosis. We know that if she gets the flu and cannot keep food down we will end up in the hospital again. She ended up with croup a few years ago and I didn't realize what an ordeal that would be. They put her on steroids for the croup but that caused crazy BG's and we had to give her one and a half times her insulin. She just deals with things, especially sickness, differently then my other kids. This last winter she had a mild seizure accompanied my hallucinations. She was able to eat and pulled out of it fairly quickly.

I have to watch her at night to make sure she doesn't go low. My greatest fear is that one morning she won't wake up and will be in a diabetic coma.

(Molly was low after church. She is cuddling with Grandpa while waiting to feel better.)

This last summer we had the scariest episode yet. I went into look at the kids before bed and Molly jumped. Well, she kept jumping. I realized she was seizing and called for my husband. He came running to take care of her while I got her glucometer. She was only 80, which is low but not unusually low. I have seen her functioning while in the 40's before. I got her some apple juice, Molly calls it "low juice". She has always been able to drink it before, but not this time. She aspirated, turned blue, and then white. She finally stopped seizing but was passed out cold. I had already called the ambulance and we were waiting for them. We were scared out of our minds. I went to the cupboard to see if I had any of the gel paste they give you in the hospital. Her glucagon caught my eye. I couldn't remember if I was supposed to give it to her if she was low or high. But I knew it was for when she was passed out, so I gave it to her. By the time the ambulance arrived she was coming to. My husband ran out the ambulance with her in his arms and they took off. She was stable by the time they reached the hospital. Her chest was clear and her labs came back fine so they released her. What I didn't know was that glucagon makes you nauseated. She was throwing up quite a bit that night.

When talking to the nurse the next day we figured that Molly had been playing out in the sun a lot that day. She was dehydrated and so she absorbed her insulin extremely fast. This caused her to shoot rapidly toward a low, causing the seizure. So we have to watch her when she is active and when she gets hot as well.

Below are some pictures from this years JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) Walk a thon. We love being able to get together with friends and family to let Molly know how much we love her.

Thank you to all who donated money towards finding a cure! We pray that our little Molly will not have to face this for the rest of her life. Thank you also to those who came out to walk with us and to Dee's Tee's for the shirts!

The Cycle of Life

I came to make an observation this weekend. I watched an elderly sister in our ward get up to bare her testimony this week. As I watched her frail body I noticed how much like an infants it was. Sometimes when a baby is born we say that they look old and wise. This was the same face which this sister beheld before me. I thought how ironic it is that we come into this life with frail little bodies. We have to learn to use them but in the meantime we need to have someone take care of us, or else we will not survive. As we get older and our bodies become frail once again, we need the help of loved ones to care for us. The skills with which we learned to control our body in infancy are slowly fading away. That which was once difficult is now difficult again.

Isn't it funny how pregnancy can be the same way. At the beginning it is difficult being sick and then at the end it is difficult being heavy. At the beginning we wonder, "can I do this?" And at the end we find ourselves again wondering, "can I do this?" In the beginning it seems to be a slower process, we are sick for what seems like an extended period of time. And at the end we are in a significant amount of pain for what feels like a long time, but is relatively short. Is this how life is as well? Learning to walk, eat and talk takes a longer period of time. But loosing the ability to walk, eat or talk can be extremely painful and feel like it is lasting forever, but in truth it is relatively short in the scheme of things.

If this cycle seems to be true in our lives, would it stand to reason that it is the same for this Earth on which we live? Will the death of it be similar to the birth of it? Will we find ourselves returning to the roots of our creation? Will it be swift and painful, and feel that it is going on forever? Can we know, as we do with childbirth, that in the moment we will wonder "can we do this?" but within a short time it will be over and all will be well? And as with all our trials, we will leave the refiners fire BETTER, STRONGER and HAPPIER than we were before. Hold on, this is but a moment.